英検準一ライティングの添削をお願いしたいです。

Question

英検準一ライティングの添削をお願いしたいです。Topic:Agree or disagree:The Japanese government needs to encourage young people to live in rural areas

Points:Education
The economy , Lifestyle

I disagree with the opinion that the Japanese government needs to encourage young people to live in rural areas. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First of all ,people can not learn enough education in rural areas .Young people would like to learn what they study professional academy the latest .Also, there are few professors in rural areas. It should not deprive young people of an opportunity.
Second, living rural areas costs a lot of money. There are small population ,so bus or train fare are higher than in the city. In addition, people usually drive cars. Therefore , it costs gas a lot.
According to the reasons stated above, I firmly believe that theJapanese government should not encourage young people live in the country.

Answer 1

I disagree with the opinion that "the Japanese government needs to encourage young people to live in rural areas. There are two reasons to support my opinion.
First, there is a lack of access to adequate education in rural areas. Young people want to be up-to-date in their professional studies. We should not deprive young people of the opportunity to learn.
Secondly, living in rural areas costs more money than in cities. Since the population is small, bus and train fares are higher than in cities. In addition, in rural areas, you need a car to live, so the cost of buying a car and gasoline is quite expensive.
For these reasons, I am convinced that the Japanese government should not encourage young people to live in the countryside.

私は「日本政府は若者が地方に住むことを奨励する必要がある」という意見には同意できません。私の意見を裏付ける理由は2つあります。
まず、地方では十分な教育を受けることができません。若者は、専門的な学問を最新の状態で学びたいと思っています。若者の学ぶ機会を奪ってはいけません。
第二に、地方での生活は都会よりも多くのお金がかかります。人口が少ないので、バスや電車の料金が都会よりも高くなります。加えて、地方では、車がないと生活できないので、車の購入費やガソリン代などがかなりかかります。
以上の理由から、日本政府は若者の田舎暮らしを奨励すべきではないと私は確信しています。