英検準二級のライティングを採点して欲しいです。 同じ文法使っているのは分かっているのであまり言わないでください՞߹ -…

Question

英検準二級のライティングを採点して欲しいです。
同じ文法使っているのは分かっているのであまり言わないでください՞߹ - ߹՞

質問はDo you think it is a good for people to watch TV programs in real time instead of recording those programs?

私の回答
I don’t think that it is a good idea for people to watch TV programs in real instead of recording those programs. I have two reasons.
First, you can watch those programs everyday. If you are busy, you can watch them after arrived at home.
Second, you can watch many TV programs. When you want to watch all programs, you can recording them.
Therefore, I think that for this.

長いですがよろしくおねがいします。

Answer 1

以下が修正とコメントでーーーす

I don’t think that it is a good idea for people to watch TV programs in real time instead of recording those programs. I have two reasons.

First, you can watch those programs every day. If you are busy, you can watch them after arriving at home.

Second, you can watch many TV programs. When you want to watch all programs, you can record them.

Therefore, I think that it is beneficial to record and watch them at your convenience.

コメント：

「everyday」は形容詞として使われる場合、"everyday" となります。しかし、ここでは「every day」が正しいです。

"arrived at home" の部分も修正しました。正確な表現は "after arriving at home" です。

"recording" の部分も修正しました。正確な表現は "record" です。

最後の文で、「for this」は少し不自然です。代わりに「it is beneficial to record and watch them at your convenience」のように表現すると自然です。