英検準1級のライティング添削お願いします Agree or disagree: Big companies have…

Question

英検準1級のライティング添削お願いします
Agree or disagree:
Big companies have a possitive effect on society.Topic:
・Products
・The economy
•The environment
• work-life balance

I agree that big companies have a positive effect on society. This essay will explain the two main reasons for my argument in terms of the economy and work-life balance.

The first reason is that large companies gave us high-quality things such as food and services. In many cases, if people do not receive a variety of products, the economy is likely to get worse and worse because people can not live without them. However, by providing people with useful products, big companies can improve the economy.

The second reason is that people who foster their children can easy work at big companies. For example, big companies can provide a good opportunity to raise children. If it were not for place they create, employees could not have such an opportunity.

For these reasons, I belive that it is good for society to increase the number of big companies.

Answer 1

The first reason is that large companies (X gave us high-quality things such as food and services → can give us high-quality products and services).
*gave us なんで過去形使ってるの → 昔の話なの？、今は違うの？

In many cases, if people do not receive a variety of products, the economy is likely to get worse and worse because people can not live without them. However, by providing people with useful products, big companies can improve the economy.
→ これはbig companies に限ったことなの？

The second reason is that people who foster their children can （X easy work → work comfortably) at big companies (X . For example、 → because) big companies can provide (X a good opportunity → a wide variety of facilities) to (X raise children → help raise their children). (X If it were not for place they create, employees could not have such an opportunity). ← 蛇足

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