英検2級が今週あるのでライティングの添削をお願いしたいです！ TOPIC

Question

英検2級が今週あるのでライティングの添削をお願いしたいです！
TOPICThanks to improvements in information technology,it is possible to work outside the office.Do you think the number of people doing so will increase in the future?

POINTS
Efficiency
Time
Communication

I think that the number of people doing so will increase in the future.I have two reasons. First, Workers are able to work in own homes and don’t have to go to the office. However, the problems that it is difficult for them to communicate with each other. It is a good way to use online video so that work is goes efficiently. Second, workers can concentrate on their work anytime and anywhere. It helps them to keep their motivation. Therefore,I think that the number of people who working outside the office will increase.

これで何割くらい取れますかね。アドバイスお願いします。また、ライティングで高得点を取るコツありましたら教えてください。

Answer 1

2級添削
Thanks to improvements in information technology,it is possible to work outside the office.
Do you think the number of people doing so will increase in the future?
POINTS Efficiency Time Communication

A. I think that the number of people doing so will increase in the future.

I have two reasons.

First,

Workers
＝workers

are able to work

in own homes
=at homes

and don’t have to go to the office.

However,

the problems
=the problem

that it is
=is that

difficult
=there is a difficulty

for them to communicate with each other.

It is a good way
=It is a good method

to use online video so that

work
=work performance

is goes
=becomes

efficiently.
=efficient.

Second, workers can concentrate on their work anytime and anywhere.

It helps them to keep their

motivation.
=motivation high.

Therefore,
=With the reasons mentioned above,

I think that the number of people who working outside the office will increase.

7割5分