英検2級 ライティング 添削お願いします

Question

英検2級 ライティング 添削お願いしますToday, many buildings collect rainwater and then use it in various ways, such as giving water to plants. Do you think such huildings will become more common in the future?

I think that such buildings will become more common in the future. I have two reasons to support this opinion. First, rainwater is free, so if we can change rainwater to drinking water. The number of people who live in such buildings doesn’t pay money to drinking water. Second, when disaster happens, we can use it as a emergency drinking water.Actually my school stocks rainwater for emergency situation. In conclusion I think that such buildings stocking rainwater like my school will become more common in the future.

Answer 1

First..の文と次の一文は、繋げた方がわかりやすいです。

Answer 2

I believe that buildings incorporating rainwater harvesting systems will become more common in the future. I have two reasons to support this opinion.

Firstly, rainwater is free, so if we can convert rainwater into drinking water, the residents of such buildings won't need to spend money on purchasing drinking water.

Secondly, in case of disasters, the stored rainwater can serve as emergency drinking water. In fact, my school already stocks rainwater for such situations. In conclusion, I anticipate that buildings with rainwater harvesting systems, similar to my school's setup, will become more prevalent in the future.